If a group of conservative political leaders gets its way,
every American will soon be nine months older than they are today. According to the Truth
in Age Act, currently being debated on Capitol Hill, the lives of
individuals will be dated not from birth but from conception. While the
measure has strong backing from values voters, supporters expect a
tough fight from celebrities, few of whom want to see an additional 9
months tacked onto their ages.
Continue reading "Plan to Make Americans Nine Months Older Gains Ground" »
Some critics are already dismissing Harriet Miers, President Bush's nominee to replace Sandra Day O'Connor on the Supreme Court as a 'Blank' slate. While the sixty-year-old single Miers has never been a judge, she is intimately acquainted with the criminal justice system. Known as Harri to her friends, Ms. Miers ran away from home while just a teenager, becoming in her own words "a boozer, a user and a two-time loser," before going back to school at the age of 46.
Continue reading "Critics Say Harriet Miers a 'Blank' Slate" »
The battle over a Supreme Court justice to replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor is heating up, and the White House is giving its short list a good reshuffle. Off the list for now, mild-mannered former petroleum industry lobbyist Priscilla Owen and hot-tempered Janice Rogers Brown, both of whom could crumble under withering interrogation from the likes of Senators Ted Kennedy and Joe Biden. Taking their place: a handful of judges who likely won't lose their cool amid the white hot glare of the spotlight: Judge Judy and Joe Brown.
Continue reading "Judge Judy, Joe Brown on Supreme Court Short List" »
Conservatives hope that Judge John G. Roberts Jr. will be a true originalist, approaching the Constitution the same way the founders did, from wearing a powdered wig, to writing on parchment with a quill and pen. But sources close to the Judge say that while he covets the job of Chief Justice, he is loathe to give up many modern conveniences, including trading in his brand new Porsche 911 for a horse-drawn carriage.
Continue reading "John Roberts Unplugged" »
In a surprise move, sources close to the White House say that President Bush will soon announce that he wants FEMA head Michael "Brownie" Brown to replace Justice Sandra Day O’Connor on the Supreme Court. Conservatives are cheering the decision, maintaining that Mr. Brown’s experience overseeing judges at horse shows will suit him well once he joins the highest court in the land.
Continue reading "Bush to Tap Michael Brown for Supreme Court" »
With students across the country headed to campus next week, many colleges and universities are facing dire shortages of leftist professors. The reason: a growing number of academics have left the country's notoriously left-wing campuses to join the federal judiciary. These pink-hued professors say that they now see judicial activism, not the conversion of students, as the most promising method of advancing their political agenda.
Continue reading "Most Leftist Academics Leaving to Become Activist Judges" »
It’s back-to-school season again which
means its time to put on your belly shirt, pack up your Veggie Tale’s backpack
and head into the classroom. But a well-rounded youngster needs to about more
than just Intelligent Design. In this edition of the "Swift Report for
Kids" we'll learn about foreign policy. What are foreigners and why do
they need policies? Should the United Nations be sent into ‘time out’ as
punishment for the oil for food scandal? Is being forced to share your toys
with kids from other countries tantamount to a ‘taking’? Take the quiz and see
how smart you are. But hurry—you don’t want to be left behind!
Continue reading "Back to School Foreign Policy Primer" »
Senate Democrats have a new strategy they say will reveal the ideological leanings of Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts: a disposable litmus test that will show his proclivities on issues from gay marriage to abortion--in less than a minute. While litmus tests have long been part of judicial confirmation hearings, this is the first time that a nominee will be subject to a disposable test.
Continue reading "Democrats: Roberts Must Take Disposable Litmus Test" »
A telecast organized by conservative Christians to warn the
public about activist judges attracted an unwelcome guest: Satan. The
appearance by the Dark One left some audience members wondering if he
is a supporter of Supreme Court Nominee John G. Roberts, or if the many
mentions of sodomy perhaps lured him to the scene.
Continue reading "Justice Sunday Marred by Appearance of Satan" »
A probe by federal agents has reportedly found no evidence that American Idol judge Paula Abdul was part of a planned terrorist operation. Sources close to the investigation say that agents, who were monitoring voicemail messages left for Ms. Abdul by former 'Idol' contestant Corey Clark phone calls under a provision of the Patriot Act, may have confused Ms. Abdul with suspected Jordanian terrorist Buelah Abdul.
Continue reading "Paula Abdul Cleared in 'American Idol' Terror Probe" »
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