The Swift Report

More Celebrities Adopting Frozen Embryos

Angelina Jolie may be hogging the celebrity spotlight these days with post-born adopted Ethiopian infant Zahara, but the real trend among celebs is smaller and easier to carry. A growing number of A-list actresses are adopting frozen embryos, portable fertilized egg cells that can be stored for later or toted in a range of stylish accessories.

Harry Potter Faces Most Devilish Opponent to Date

In the latest installment of the Harry Potter films, the young bespectacled wizard faces the darkest, most devious threat of his brief career: the powerful and mysterious leader of a secretive order. Now, some parents are warning that Harry's newest nemesis may be too frightening for young children.

Paris Hilton is Victim of Identity Theft

Paris Hilton has more to cry about these days than the end of her engagement to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis. Now someone has apparently stolen the 'heirhead's' identity, even going so far as to set up a phony website under her name. But Ms. Hilton isn't taking the identity theft lying down. Sources close to the aspiring actress say that she plans to file a suit with the World Trade Organization, maintaining that 'Paris' is a recognizable trademark.

White House to Censor Photos of Incompetent Officials

The White House has requested that media outlets refrain from taking pictures of incompetent members of the Bush Administration or particular acts of incompetence. Under the new policy, journalists would be barred from photographing FEMA chief Michael Brown, Homeland Security head Michael Chertoff and President Bush himself. The move comes amid mounting criticism by conservatives that the mainstream media is exaggerating the incompetence of the Administration.

President's New Speaking Style Charms Press, Public

Members of both the press and the public are giving a big hand to President Bush's new forthright speaking style. Mr. Bush is winning praise for foregoing spin, handlers and GOP talking points and taking his message directly to the people.

Climactic Battle Expected in Senate 'Star Wars'

The time for compromise over, a massive battle is about to unfold in the nation's capital. At its center are two hardened Senate warriors locked in a vicious dispute as chaotic as it is stylized. Their weapon of choice: words as sharp as sabers.

After Britney, Americans Divided on which GOP Starlet Likely to Conceive Next

A recent survey reveals that Americans are closely divided on the question of which GOP starlet is likely to follow Britney Spears down the road to mommy-hood. While conservative chanteuse Jessica Simpson was the top choice—despite recent high-profile marital problems with hubby Nick Lachey—Mary Cheney and newlywed Arthur Finkelstein were close behind.

Listen Up Lindsay, Christina: More Teens Seeking Virgin Pop Stars

A growing number of teenage girls say that they are more likely to purchase CDs made by female artists who wait until marriage to have sex. The research findings are likely to increase pressure on struggling record labels to keep young starlets chaste—or quickly marry them off. 

Fearing Backlash, Some in Hollywood Veer Right

Actress Jennifer Aniston isn't the only closet conservative to have 'come out' in recent months. Fearing a backlash among traditionalist moviegoers—and eager to replicate the success of Mel Gibson's Bible-based blockbuster—a growing number of celebs are trading in their liberal labels.

Political Rift Drives Jen and Brad Apart—for Good

Jennifer Aniston has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt, ending months of speculation that the two had healed the political rift that drove them apart in January. Meanwhile, Mr. Pitt has once again been spotted in the company of liberal activist Angelina Jolie.