The Swift Report

Fears Mount Over Homosexual Energy Agenda

With oil prices on the rise--and demand for petroleum products steadily swelling--Americans are increasingly concerned about a homosexual energy agenda that seeks to force SUV's and other gas guzzlers off the road in favor of gay cars and trucks. Anxiety about the agenda mounted this week with the news that several large energy concerns are now among the most gay-friendly companies in the country.

Bush to Tour Mansions Ravaged by Estate Tax

President George W. Bush is encouraging Congress to focus on perhaps the most dire issue facing the nation today: the estate tax and its devastating impact on the richest Americans. Mr. Bush said that repealing the tax could aid tens, even dozens of Americans. Former FEMA chief and Arabian horse expert Michael Brown has been tapped to reach out to the victims of the tax.

Fallujah Enjoys New Notoriety: Greenest City in Iraq

Until recently, the air quality in Fallujah ranked among the worst in Iraq. But thanks to a bold new plan implemented by the US military, residents of this central Iraqi city are now enjoying plenty of fresh air--and breathing a deep sigh of relief.

Georgia University to Eliminate Geology Department

Georgia's Kennesaw State University has announced that students there will no longer be able to study geology, the history of the earth as recorded in rocks. In their announcement, university administrators cited a growing consensus both in and outside of academia that the earth is around 6,000 years old, thus requiring little further study of its history.

Senate Votes to Allow Underwater Drilling in the Arctic

President Bush scored a major policy victory this week when a closely divided Senate voted to approve underwater drilling in the arctic by a margin of 51-49. When the president initially proposed opening the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, or ANWR, to oil exploration, the Alaskan nature preserve was still a frozen wilderness inhabited by polar bears, musk oxen and caribou. As a result of global warming, however, 70% of the refuge is now covered by water.

With Temperatures Rising, Arctic Oil Search May Require Underwater Drilling

News that 70% of the Arctic National Wild Refuge, or ANWAR, is now underwater may have thrown a wrench into the Bush administration’s plans to drill for oil beneath the coastal plain. But despite concerns about the expense and difficulty of transporting off-shore oil rigs to the refuge, the administration may have won the support of a new key ally: Arctic wildlife and their defenders. As polar bears and seals see their habitat dissolve beneath them amid rising temperatures, the arrival of offshore oil rigs could give them something to hang onto.

GOP Senate Improves Odds for Bush's Groundbreaking Energy Plan

Now that Republicans rule the Senate, President Bush’s dream of overhauling the nation’s energy policy appears likely to become a reality. And while much of the attention has gone to the president’s proposal for drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, or ANWR, the new legislation includes several little-noticed items that embody the administration’s ground-breaking approach to energy conservation.