Microsoft to Roll Out Windows XP 'Homo' Edition

In a move likely to make computing history, Seattle software giant Microsoft will soon unveil its new Windows XP 'Homo' Edition. The company says that it designed the new product line in response to demands for a gay operating system, the first of its kind, by consumers and Microsoft employees. But some conservative Christian groups are warning that the software could open the door to "open-source" relationships.

Conservative Christians charge that software may open the door to "open-source" relationships

By Todd Fox

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REDMOND, WA—You asked for it, and you're about to get it: the nation's first gay computer operating system. In a move destined to make computer history, Seattle software giant Microsoft will soon unveil its latest contribution to the world of personal computing: Windows XP 'Homo' Edition.

The move comes after months of controversy in which Microsoft waffled over whether or not to support a Washington state gay rights bill.

Born with a choice in operating systems
A company spokesperson explains that Microsoft's decision to develop the gay operating system had less to do with ideology than with the bottom line: "While they may not be able to choose their sexual orientation, consumers and Microsoft employees do have a choice of operating systems. We're meeting this need." [Click thumbnail to enlarge image.]

'Proud' to be an American company
Microsoft is just the latest American company to throw its towel into the ring of the increasingly competitive gay products ring. Earlier this year, the Ford Motor Company became the first of the 'Big 3' automakers to unveil a line of gay and lesbian cars and trucks, following on the heels of an array of companies that already manufacture and market gay products, including KitchenAid Mixers and Segway scooters.

And while Microsoft is the first software maker to bring a gay operating system to market, the company is merely following the lead of long-time rival Apple, maker of the popular 'biPod.'

Plug and Play
The operating system will include the following features:

•    Top-to-bottom DLLs
Straight operating systems rely on "side-by-side" DLLs; Microsoft features state-of-the art "top to bottom" functionality.
•    DualView
BiView allows computers with gay and straight operating systems to host the Windows desktop.
•    Search long-time companion
A long-time search companion knows you best and can retrieve the information you need—when you need it.
•    Ultimate Photos Screensavers:
Ibiza, Puerto Vallarta, Fire Island, the Castro. Customize your theme based on what kind of gay you are: leather man, drag queen, earth goddess.
•    Ultimate music and video pack for Windows XP
Preloads include Cher, Madonna, Babs, and Christina packages.
•    Fast partner switching
This allows you and your partners or friends the ability to share a single computer without having to close each others applications.

Drag and drop?
While Ford's introduction of the 'dyke-driven' PowerStroke provoked a boycott by the ultra-conservative American Family Association, there's no word yet on whether Microsoft's XP 'Homo' Edition is likely to prompt a similar ban. But culture war watchers say that such a move is unlikely given how much pro-family groups rely on Microsoft operating systems to access dirty pictures, films and other offensive materials.

Dot XXX
Technology experts estimate that as much as 70% of all gay pornographic material is currently downloaded by pro-family groups that then monitor what they term "deviant homosexual material" to ensure that it is really dirty. Conservative groups including the American Family Association, Concerned Women for America and Focus on the Family now download so much porn, say experts, that they will likely be among the first to receive the new XXX internet extension when it becomes available in the fall.

Microsoft has already begun filling advance orders for the new gay operating system. The company declined to comment on how many copies of Windows XP 'Homo' Edition have been sold to conservative Christian groups.

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Comments

[Jay]

I want windows xp homo edition

[TekWiz]

This isn't funny. WindowsXP is the joke of modern operating systems because it is only able to run a very limited number of programs at once. If you freshly boot XP, no matter how much RAM you have, you will only be able to open about 54 IE or Explorer windows before you won't be able to open anymore. If you open about 3 major programs like photoshop, Eudora, etc. you will then only be able to open a few more windows before you reach the "resource" limit. You will still have plenty of RAM, and the swap file won't be big--simply, Windows XP has the same limitation as Windows 98--limited resources. Maybe the kernel doesn't but the "windows xp overlay" does. On OSX you can open hundreds or thousands of windows with no problems at all.

Microsoft is a retarded company and their products seriously suck. That's why no graphics/publishing professionals use Windows. It's good for a casual user who just wants to write an email, maybe take a look at some website. As soon as you need to do some serious work on it, like open a bunch of web browser windows, edit some photos, work with your email, etc. you'd be wondering why at some point nothing works anymore, and you are forced to close some of your windows.

This is not a real "multitasking" operating system, but a joke on consumers. It's amazing that nobody has reported this serious limitation that I could find. I had a hard time believing the limitation when I found it. I wonder if Vista will still have the same limitation.

I have used windows since 1995, and at this point I have decided that if I ever want to use a "REAL COMPUTER" I will have to use OSX. I am recommending to everyone who asks me now, to buy one of the new Intel Macs...

Tek.

[toby]

I think Bill Gates was working on the gay edition of windows when this shot was taken:
http://www.clevercaption.com/69.html

[Tom McMahan]

Wait! I thought this was an ironic blog!? You had me thinking it was a joke until the last part about the conservative groups downloading all the porn...that's obviously true...now I'm so confused...

[David W. Quinn]

I just found this site. I love it. Great stories. I love the FOX News Story earlier this week, and this is exciting news. I can't wait for XP XXX to come out.