Jeb Bush: Hurricane Dennis Could Be Fault of Michael Schiavo

Florida Governor Jeb Bush has asked a state prosecutor to investigate possible links between Hurricane Dennis and Michael Schiavo. Governor Bush said that he connected Mr. Schiavo with the category 3 storm after realizing that Dennis spelled backwards is actually 'sinned.'

Dennis spelled backwards equals 'sinned'

By Deanna Swift

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Just hours after Hurricane Dennis made landfall across the Florida Panhandle yesterday, Governor Jeb Bush asked a state prosecutor to investigate possible links between the category 3 storm and Michael Schiavo. In a statement to reporters, Mr. Bush noted that the issue of Mr. Schiavo's involvement in the strongest hurricane to develop this early in the Atlantic storm season "remains unsettled."

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A hot topic—ignored by the mainstream media
Mr. Schiavo's likely involvement in the hurricane, which took aim at Haiti and Cuba before lashing the Panhandle, has been a hot topic on conservative talk radio since Dennis was just a tropical storm. But despite the buzz on websites and AM radio, the so-called mainstream media all but ignored the story, attributing Dennis' mounting ferocity over the weekend not to the work of Michael Schiavo, but to the unusually warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico.

"Typical MSM bull$%#@," wrote one visitor to Free Republic, a popular conservative website. "Blame it all on global warming when this has Schiavo's fingerprints all over it."

Conspiracy 'up to the heavens'
Indeed, some observers now maintain that the refusal of state, local and even federal officials to lay blame for the ferocious storm at the feet of Mr. Schiavo may be part of a conspiracy that reaches up to the very highest levels of government. Case in point: when the National Hurricane Center issued a statement that Hurricane Dennis had finally made landfall on the northern Gulf of Mexico coastline, the emergency announcement did not contain a single mention of Michael Schiavo's name.

Hurricane 'Terri'?
Not everyone in the sunshine state believes that Michael Schiavo bears direct responsibility for the fury of blinding squalls, crashing waves, and flying debris that rammed into the Florida and Alabama coasts. At least a handful of residents take a more forgiving view, maintaining that Hurricane Dennis was actually the meteorological wrath of Pope John Paul II and Terri Schiavo herself, coming back to avenge the 'culture of death' brought on Florida by none other than Michael Schiavo.

A storm of protest
By Sunday afternoon, Dennis had been downgraded to a category two on the Saffir-Simpson-Schiavo rating scale. But at least one group of activists wasn't taking any chances. With waves still battering the gulf coast, they made their way to the home of Michael Schiavo in Clearwater, FL, for a vigil. Their goal: to pressure Florida lawmakers to pass a law barring Mr. Schiavo from creating any additional hurricanes.

For Bush, a wave of support
Despite statements to the contrary, Governor Bush is widely believed to be considering a 2008 run for the office currently held by his brother, George W. Bush. A high-profile investigation linking Michael Schiavo to the most recent storm to batter Florida would likely shore up Governor Bush's support among so-called values voters, many of whom not only blame Mr. Schiavo for Hurricane Dennis, but for rising gas prices and a rash of recent shark attacks.

Should Congress intervene to prevent Michael Schiavo from inflicting yet more damage to the sugar white sands of Pensacola, FL? Talk back to Deanna Swift.

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Comments

[Thai Radio]

I just read it: now I'm convinced!

[Notta Libb]

Check out a site dedicated to the absurdity of saying "It's All George Bush's Fault!"

http://www.itsallgeorgebushsfault.com

Regards,
Notta Libb

[R]

Cher Juliep,
This was a satire!. Although accidental (I hope) Juliep's comment about God's "furry" made me laugh. Is there a giant cat prowling the celestial realm?
Pauvre de toi!

[juliep123]

That's almost humorous. That commenter on FreeRepublic is yet more proof that these right-wingers still choose to have the mindsets of people in the 15th century. People in Elizabethan era-England believed that the weather on Earth was caused by God's furry in Heaven, and that everything humans did would come with consequences from above. Blaming Michael Schiavo for hurricanes is almost like blaming the Tooth Fairy for the tsunami in southeast Asia. If I did believe in God, I would think that Jeb Bush would be the one He's pissed at. Maybe God sent all those hurricanes to teach ol' Jebber a lesson about interfering with His plans to take Terri Schiavo up to Heaven to be with Him. People need to grow up and realize that there is a rational explanation for most of these natural occurances instead of blaming the wrath of their god for every single one of their problems. Michael Schiavo is an innocent man who has been de-humanized by the Religious Reich for the past year. People need to get over it and move on. All that bitching they do isn't going to bring Terri back or stop other people from having their life support removed for that matter. Thousands of humans die from starvation every single day in the world, and God sure as hell doesn't have a problem with that! People need to get with the 21st century and grab some logic.

[Ben Larson]

Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant.

[R]

Neil and Cinder,
Pensez-vous que ce sera un autre ouragan avec mes
"comments"?
You didn't like my joke. Tant pis. Since you
lean so left I thought I should write something in
French. Nat H. isn't what I would consider the "religious
right." It's too bad that so many comments miss
the idea of satire and start ranting about the religious right.

[cinder]

Neil,

I've never understood that either. We've got starving children all over the world, including in any major city near you, but the religious right would like for us to adopt embryos with the money we could be feeding people with.

Awesome entry today. And don't take down the background. Satire is one of the most protected forms of speech there is for a reason.

[Neil Reinhardt]

Hey R

Get a clue. Other friends of hers said she had told them she did not want to live as like her family FORCED her to live.

This is just another one of MANY times the Religious Right is WRONG!

Another time they again prove they are nothing other than little programmed religious robots!

And proving again they are more concerned with some supposed life BEFORE Birth & AFTER Death than they are with the REAL life which takes place in-between those two extreams.

[lelio]

Absolutely f***in' brilliant satire.

The fact that there are a couple of posters that actually thought this was a serious story is pretty damn scary.

[Mel]

Pure genius! LOL.

[Anonymous]

Just when I thought the radical right couldn't get any more dumb than they already are, you've stooped to a new low.

This American flag in the background of your so-called "news" blog is a disgrace to America and it makes me sick.

I didn't think you idiots could get any lower, but once again, you've proved me wrong.

[Derrick the sheep]

Thanks you for the informative article. Until I read this, I did'nt realise that Hurricane Dennis was a Democrat.

[Ron]

Jeb like his brother live in the clouds and really never know the reality of life on earth! May the next storm rid him and his family back to Saudi where they have no legal rights like us!

[Susan]

You all aren't taking this seriously enough. Didn't you read "me's" post above. Mr Schiavo was able to do all that by being powerful enough to have all the doctor's, courts, the ME and law enforcement back him up. That is power man! I think he did start that hurricane.

[Tom McMahan]

This may be your best yet!

[Me is the Ridor]

ROFLMAO!

R-

[R]

Does "realist" not realize that this is satire?
For a more accurate look at the Schiavo case look
at Nat Hentoff's op-ed in the Washington Times
today (July 11) and see how a real writer writes!
Michael Schiavo has unspecified neuro problems.
He "remembered" that Terri wanted to die years later.
He didn't remember CPR. He remembered that he wanted
her remaining estate right away after her death. He
didn't remember his wedding vows. He didn't remember to call 911, instead calling Terri's family first. Now the guy is pondering a book about "death with dignity." What a joke! How about a truthful book:
"How I Got Rid of My Inconvenient Wife and How You
Can Too!"

[J B Cougar]

Looks like the smear campaign worked:

Failed Hurricane Dennis turns to depression

[Jerry Sprinkle]

Well, after the "no cloud left behind"- politics failed it is time now to start the war on weather. Wait a minute, hasn't Washington already declaimed war on climate?

[Realist]

This story is the biggest crock of BS that I have ever read. There is no way you can blame this on Schiavo. You right wing nuts need to really look some where else for weather problems. Glogal warming has a lot more to do with the increase of storm hitting Florida than anything that Schiavo could do. I am pray everyday to God "Protect me from your followers, they are nuts".

[pc93]

http://tekgnosis.typepad.com/tekgnosis/2005/06/terri_schiavo_c.html

[Jerry bin Laden]

I KNEW IT!!!