New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has received the season's first major political endorsement: from the Devil. While Mrs. Clinton is often likened to the Devil, this is the first time that the so-called 'Master of Hell' has actually endorsed a candidate. Meanwhile, speculation has already begun as to whether Mrs. Clinton is to be the sole recipient of Satan's endorsement or whether he will throw his weight behind several candidates, including Senate Republican leader Bill Frist
Devil most likely read new book, "The Truth About Hillary," by Edward Klein
By Deanna Swift
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NEW YORK, NY—New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton's anticipated run for the presidency in 2008 got a major boost yesterday when she received the first major endorsement of the political season: from the Devil. News of the endorsement became known last night when the Devil phoned into the late-night radio program of the Fox News' Alan Colmes to announce his decision.
This is the first time that the Devil has officially endorsed a candidate, although he is believed to have played a behind-the-scenes role in several earlier races including Richard M. Nixon's campaign for re-election in 1972, the lopsided contest between Walter "Fritz" Mondale and Ronald Reagan in 1984, and the 2002 run for Congress by Florida's Katherine Harris. No announcement has been made on whether Ms. Harris will again receive Satanic support when she runs for Senate in 2006.
GOP and Hell like 'Hill'
A spokesperson for Senator Clinton declined to make an official statement about the Devil's endorsement but noted that Mrs. Clinton has significantly broadened her support in the past two years and has strong support among some Republicans including former House Majority Leader Newt Gingrich.
"We're obviously pleased and flattered to get a vote of confidence no matter where it comes from." As for whether the endorsement surprised 'Team Hillary,' the spokesperson acknowledged that "The Senator is increasingly popular among Republicans, including some of those at the top level of the party hierarchy."
More endorsements likely
According to political insiders, though, Mrs. Clinton shouldn't get too comfortable being the sole designee of 'brand Beelzebub.' With the 2008 field already cluttered with likely contenders, more endorsements from the A-list fallen angel are a near certainty. And while Mrs. Clinton was an obvious first choice—her name recognition extends from this world into the next, and both she and her equally famous spouse have been likened to the Devil—second and third choices are already lining up.
Horned beings for Frist
Senate Republican leader Bill Frist would be hard pressed to do worse than win Satanic support for his bid for the Presidency. In a recent poll, only 4% of Americans surveyed said that they would vote for Dr. Frist in the Republican primary if it were held today. That number—well behind other GOP figures including Condoleeza Rice, Jeb Bush, and Vice President Dick Cheney—would almost certainly increase were Dr. Frist to win the official backing of the Devil.
'She'd sell her soul to be President'
As for why the Devil decided to break with tradition and make public his support for a candidate, long-time politicos say that the answer to that question most likely lies with a bestselling new book "The Truth About Hillary," by Edward Klein. The damning expose of the New York Senator, depicting a woman who would 'sell her soul to be President,' has been widely reviewed and is currently #13 on the Amazon.com bestseller list. Among the episodes that likely caught the attention of the Devil: a violent exchange in which the future Mrs. Clinton reveals her taste for blood by punching her then boyfriend in the nose for losing her pet rabbit.
Hillary Clinton is a tool of the Devil
Opponents of Mrs. Clinton, who have long suspected that she is an agent of the Devil, say that they are relieved to have finally received official confirmation that she is indeed backed by Beelzebub. Bumper stickers and buttons sporting the slogan "Hillary Clinton is a tool of the Devil" are reportedly already selling briskly.
What Presidential candidate do you believe that the Devil should endorse next? Talk back to Deanna Swift.
This is the dumbest sight I have ever seen on earth. We all know that hell is in a ranch with the city name of Crawford Texas. Suck it big time.. Hillary is our next president....
Posted by: Chris | January 26, 2008 at 12:43 PM
Hillary endorsed herself ,she really is satan ,i heard the prez of iran and hill got together , he gave her a cash donation she agreed to help iran with the rest of there nuc weapons program!
Posted by: tommyjr | September 26, 2007 at 05:42 PM
On some level it seems fitting that the Devil would endorse Hillary, but I wonder what he will do when she dies and tries to take over hell.
Posted by: Dave | February 01, 2007 at 07:02 PM
This is the funniest website I've ever seen!! Good stuff duder.
Posted by: Dude Manger | November 29, 2006 at 11:30 AM
can u believe that in this time and place we can still make people vote against people for this stuff!!!
Posted by: romain | September 28, 2006 at 08:04 PM
Hillary certainly has the power to seduce, and influence men, especially older men [70's] who look at this bright enlightened woman as the girl he knew of his youth, the popular bobby soxer, the most popular girl you dreamed of dating.
There are many other reasons why men look to her as a Heroine. Men are attracted to a strong forceful woman. Hillary reminds me of Margaret Hatcher, with sex appeal. As far as the Devil goes, he wouldn't dare approach Hillary, he doesn't need to take any more Hell!
Posted by: Anthony Lembo | June 21, 2006 at 03:35 PM
how could you know who the devil supports unless you have been consorting with the beast?
Posted by: dan | May 04, 2006 at 04:39 PM
I can't believe I spent 3 tours in Vietnam so people like you can peddle this type of garbage.
Posted by: Charles Beard | August 04, 2005 at 08:58 AM
Does anybody know what the devil's daughter is doing and whether she has a website?
Posted by: blue | July 28, 2005 at 02:45 PM
u are the devil, live your life to the fullest, don't make others
Jesus H
Posted by: Jesus H Christ | July 05, 2005 at 10:27 PM