Georgia University to Eliminate Geology Department

Georgia's Kennesaw State University has announced that students there will no longer be able to study geology, the history of the earth as recorded in rocks. In their announcement, university administrators cited a growing consensus both in and outside of academia that the earth is around 6,000 years old, thus requiring little further study of its history.

Current students will be encouraged to enroll in a new field: 'Great Floodology'

By Cole Walters

ATLANTA, GA—Georgia's Kennesaw State University has announced that students at the former junior college will no longer be able to major in geology, the history of the earth as recorded in rocks. The 35-year-old geology department is being phased out as of the 2005/2006 academic school year. In their announcement, university administrators cited a growing consensus both within and outside of academia that the earth is around 6,000 years old, thus requiring little further historical study.

Students in the now defunct department are being encouraged to switch to another major within the school of biological, physical and creation sciences. Administrators have also announced the introduction of an innovative new concentration, 'Great Floodology,' in which undergraduates will spend four years examining physical evidence in support of the Biblical Great Flood.

...undergrads examining physical evidence
of the Great Flood....

A field evolves
While believed to the be the first known case at a university in which administrators have 'lost faith' in a geology or other natural sciences program, the Kennesaw decision is just the latest sign that the controversial theory of evolution may have warn out its welcome at the nation's institutions of learning.

In Kansas, the state board of education is considering adding 'intelligent design,' the view that the world and the people in it are simply too complex to have evolved naturally, to the state's science standards. Earlier this year, teachers in Dover, Pa., were instructed to read a statement disclaiming evolution in their biology classes.

And in Cobb County, Ga., after a U.S. district judge ordered the removal of stickers questioning evolution from biology textbooks, the stickers began appearing everywhere that the divisive theory is embraced, from museums and college lectures to a little girl's birthday party.

Teaching lies no more
At an impromptu meeting held in the university's Science Center just hours after administrator's announced the demise of their department, the seven members of the former geology unit gathered to discuss next steps. Four of the professors say that they plan to continue to teach courses in the school's creation sciences program, two are planning to accept the university's offer to buy out their contracts, while the remaining instructor will join the staff at Kennesaw's Center for Professional Selling.

All expressed relief that they will no longer have to spend their days defending an increasingly embattled field. "We were here to lead our students through the study of historical evolution through "deep time," explains Professor William J. Bryan, a former geologist who next fall will begin teaching a course entitled 'The Genesis Flood: The Biblical Record and its Scientific Implications.' "But we all agree that the earth is about 6,000 years old. No matter how many rocks you look at or field trips you go on, you're not going to change that essential fact."

Is biology next?
While the geology department was the only one singled out for elimination by Kennesaw administrators, observers elsewhere at the university say that the biology and biology education majors are likely to be the next on the academic chopping block. Biology, once among the most popular major's at the northwest Georgia school, has become increasingly isolated of late. In order to join the faculty, new hires must pass a 'litmus test,' indicating that they support the controversial theory of evolution, a requirement that has driven away both teachers and students in recent years.

Last fall, members of a fraternity clad in monkey suits disrupted a course entitled 'Introduction to the Culture & Methods of Biology.' University administrators said that the protest was merely a rush-week prank and was not related to the Darwinian content of the course.

Cole Walters can be reached at [email protected]

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Comments

[Jennifer]

This post is funny, but the concern is valid. There are colleges and universities which are ACTUALLY closing their geology departments, such as the University of Connecticut. Geology departments at colleges may not actually be around, thanks to the religious right.

[Ashrafi]

Salam

[Gaines Johnson]

Excellent piece of satire! Good job!

[FlamingGOP]

Obviously "KSU Prof" is simply trying to hide the fact that Kennesaw State NO LONGER has a Geology Department by stating a bald faced lie that they "NEVER HAD" a Geology Department. Professor, we don't need to be ashamed of our ideology and try to revise history in an effort to thwart the ridicule of those that oppose this measure. We stand proud in our Floodism and are not ashamed. Let the left wing liberal professors and media laugh all they want!

[D X Stone]

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You guys are really great, by the way... always good for a larf...
DXS
http://presidentevilonline.com

[D X Stone]

I love how so many people don't seem to get that you're a humor site... I have the very same problem with mine...
You guys are really great, by the way... always good for a larf!
DXS
http://presidentevilonline.com

[KSU Prof]

I have no idea what kind of joke website this is. However, Kennesaw State has NEVER HAD a Geology Department. In the sciences, KSU only has departments of biology/physics, chemistry & biochemistry, and computer science/information science. The earth science that is taught at KSU is taught within the Department of Biological and Physical Sciences by either an ecologist or a geophysicist.