Conservatives Push for Psychiatric Diagnosis of 'Loony Leftists'

Still thinking about election fraud in Ohio? Worried that voting machines in Florida may have been hacked? If some Republicans get their way, there may soon be an official diagnosis of what really ails you: political paranoia disorder.

"Political Paranoia" to be included in next edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

By Hermione Slatkin, Medical Correspondent

NEW YORK, NY—When Zacharia Goodman recently sought out the help of a therapist, it was no mystery as to what was ailing him. The 27-year-old copy editor was so consumed by his belief that President George W. Bush stole the recent election that he was having trouble sleeping, completing rudimentary tasks at work, and carrying on conversations about topics not related to politics.

The therapist he consulted wrote Goodman a prescription for the social anxiety drug Paxil and encouraged him to spend less time reading left-wing blogs and listening to Air America.

This particular story has a happy ending; Goodman admits that he's already far less irritating to be around than he was just a few weeks ago. But countless paranoids just like him may be going untreated, say mental health professionals. The reason: the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders or DSM presently excludes political paranoia from its 933 pages of symptoms, diagnoses and treatment recommendations.

 Download the Political Paranoia Inventory (PPI) Self Test

 

And with thousands of individuals across the country seeking therapy in the wake of President Bush's electoral victory, some mental health professionals fear that a diagnostic crisis may be in the offing.

Democrat or just demented?
Now a group of Republican lawmakers is hoping that they can do something about the problem. When the 109th Congress convenes in Washington in January, Senator Bill Frist, the first practicing physician elected to the Senate since 1928, plans to file a bill that would define "political paranoia" as a mental disorder, paving the way for individuals who suffer from paranoid delusions regarding voter fraud, political persecution and FBI surveillance to receive Medicare reimbursement for any psychiatric treatment they receive.

Rick Smith, a spokesman for Senator Frist, says that the measure has a good chance of passing—something that can only help a portion of the population that is suffering significant distress.

"If you're still convinced that President Bush won the election because Republicans figured out a way to hack into electronic voting machines, you've obviously got a problem," says Smith. "If we can figure out a way to ease your suffering by getting you into therapy and onto medication, that's something that we hope the entire 109th Congress will support."

A meeting of the minds
Of course, while Congress can pass laws defining mental disorders, the ultimate decision regarding the inclusion of political paranoia disorder in the next version of the DSM isn't up to legislators but to psychiatrists. The entire assembly of the American Psychiatric Association (APA) must approve the addition of the disorder when that body convenes in Atlanta in May.

This won't be the first time that the APA has bowed to political pressure to add or delete common mental disorders. In 1973, the APA removed homosexuality from the massive psychiatric desk reference. The 1987 publication of DSM-III-R deleted ego-dystonic homosexuality as well.

As for the likelihood that therapists will soon be able to diagnose "political paranoia" in the patients who come to see them, Zacharia Goodman says that that moment can't come quickly enough.

"I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, my girlfriend left me, and I still didn't know what was wrong with me," says Goodman, who now attends a support group for political paranoids in addition to taking a daily dose of Paxil. "Now I can read the news and stay calm. I'm even planning to watch the inauguration on TV."

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Comments

[Mark]

I think elections held were very pure and there was no fraud.

[Load O. Crap]

Try to tell Kurt Nimmo that this is a bunch of bullshit. His comment forum is closed.

[eivind]

Medication for political dissidents??

Now that's interesting. I think I've heard about it
before... If I'm not mistaken it was quite common back in good old USSR.

So that's why they were cheering when the Soviet fell..
They were out to steal their methods. Brilliant ;-)

[eivind]

Medication for political dissidents??

Now that's interesting. I think I've heard about it
before... If I'm not mistaken it was quite common back in good old USSR.

So that's why they were cheering when the Soviet fell..
They were out to steal their methods. Brilliant ;-)

[eivind]

Medication for political dissidents??

Now that's interesting. I think I've heard about it
before... If I'm not mistaken it was quite common back in good old USSR.

So that's why they were cheering when the Soviet fell..
They were out to steal their methods. Brilliant ;-)

[Moloch]

Republicans would never make recommendations that would put at risk the precious bodily fluids of their fellow Americans, even DemonRats.

With the obvious exception of the blood of American boys and girls in the armed forces, which they sacrifice to Me with abandon.

A Christian nation? Ha. News to Mars, Mammon and Me - between the three of us we haven't had it so good since the old Roman Imperium. Sigh. Those were the days.

[Moloch]

Republicans would never make recommendations that would put at risk the precious bodily fluids of their fellow Americans, even DemonRats.

With the obvious exception of the blood of American boys and girls in the armed forces, which they sacrifice to Me with abandon.

A Christian nation? Ha. News to Mars, Mammon and Me - between the three of us we haven't had it so good since the old Roman Imperium. Sigh. Those were the days.

[Pepper]

This is war!

[politically paranoid]

Ok Ok, I'll admit it, I am very paranoid, so are most Americans, and yes we need drugs, we need big brother to keep us safe, to prevent this ugly idea of "freedom" from being disseminated ( it is contagious) and to safeguard us from our own ideas that we should not kill men from a nation that did not attack us men that also never personally offended us, that we should preserve our own legal rights, our freedom of speech, of contience and even privicy. This incidious things, are the product of a cult, and a manufactured malady. Thank god for Bill First and his infinite wisdom, with this proposal we can now go be obedient complacent citizens a sure sign of good mental health.
Now for the best recomendations. Prozac is good for those who think they have rights, this delusion vanishes very rapidly with the pill, seen to be very effective. and as for other forms of this insidous illness, Those who are particularly hard to cure respond best to the combination of ECT and antidepressants, they deal with the problem most efectively. The subject normally stops feeling disatisfaction, and in fact stops feeling at all. never again will the anxiaty make him feel bad. And in many cases, suicidal tendencies solve the prolem completly, not just for the individual ( no more suffering for him)It is also good for society, no one has to worry about the patient after that, he will be dead. The less populace the more food and goodies hu? I'd say, there just isn't a more comprehensive and effective protocol in todays adavance world. Did you say cure? id dead not a stop to al suffering? what more do you want?.

[Woodrow Gardener]

Cop a clue, people. The article and the reaction to it proves a longstanding premise I have: The average American is in a constant emotional state of "sitting on the edge of their seat" just waiting to be offended. I believe if this were not the case, the discussioin would center on whether or not this little piece of satire is funny. I give it an 8 or 9 on a scale of 1 to 10. For future consideration: the author might consider beginning with, "THIS IS SATIRE". Just a thought ;-)

[Jodie]

I just heard Michael Moore singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" on Jay Leno's show. Michael's got a nice vibrato and political paranoia, too. He needs Paxil. I need Paxil. Can't eat, sleep or think! Every five minutes I see a vision of Bush's 'Smirk'.

Gimme some Paxil!

[Ryan Smith]

When I had political paranoia, my doctor gave me a pescription for medical marajuana. Now I fell...umm... what wre we talking about again?

[Patriots Words]

I guess the follow people need to see a doctor then...

"Any people that would give up liberty for a little temporary safety deserves neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin

“The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home.” -James Madison

"Every step we take towards making the State our Caretaker of our lives, by that much we move toward making the State our Master."
Dwight D. Eisenhower

[Theocracy Is Here]

Does this mean I can go complain to my doctor about all the horrors the Bush Administration is commiting, and the government will pick up the tab? Awesome! Just to fair though, can they pass an act allowing Republicans to visit a doctor for BISOSS (Blind Ignorant Sufferers of Stockholm Syndrome) :)

[Hank Ramey]

Konservatives are Nazis! They can go fuck themselves!

[Fiend]

Quote (angels): "If the American people haven't risen up yet, they never will.

"Those willing to give up freedom for security deserve neither."

Abraham Lincoln"

That was Ben Franklin, not "Habeas Corpus, what Habeas Corpus?" Lincoln. :)

[LM]

No one of Metallica penned the phrase, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

Sorry, it's a bit older than that.

[LM]

No one of Metallica penned the phrase, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

Sorry, it's a bit older than that.

[slaghammer]

Jezus freakin christ.
One of the questions on the PPI test should be, “Am I retarded enough to question whether or not this is satire”.
Yes, the Republican Party is made up almost entirely of hillbillies from Abilene Texas.
Yes, Bush is undoubtedly the bastard son of a hundred maniacs.
Now, calm down and put your fingers back on your keyboard and type in a few words. Try "Political Paranoia" for starters and maybe even Frist or some such thing. If you don't find anything to verify that any of this is legitimate, then laugh and the little joke and move on with your life.
We have 4 years to kick the rednecks out of office. Don't waste time confusing comedy with reality. It makes us all look like Republicans.

[angels]

Good question, is this satire? If it is, well just give them time.

[Halogen]

http://www.lifeaftertheoilcrash.net/
http://www.johntitor.com/

If the American people haven't risen up yet, they never will.

"Those willing to give up freedom for security deserve neither."

Abraham Lincoln

[sirissachayes]

SOMA

[Wilbur Carp]

Are you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here! You talken to me? You talken to Me???

[Daphne]

Where's my Paxil?

[Libby Buck]

Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you....

- Metallica