Bush Twins Fume at Family-Friendly Concert Line Up

When Barbara and Jenna Bush agreed to host a youth concert as part of their famous dad's inaugural festivities, they imagined themselves getting up close and personal with hot musical stars like Lil Jon and JoJo. But one by one, the twins' top choices have been replaced by country crooners and has-beens—even a Christian singing sheriff.

Junk replaces crunk, say twins

By Russell D'Arby, Arts and Entertainment Correspondent

WASHINGTON, DC—When Barbara and Jenna Bush agreed to host a youth concert as part of their famous daddy's inaugural celebration, they were looking forward to getting up close and personal with some of the hottest names in music. Barbara sent an invite to crunk superstars Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz, while Jenna tagged JoJo, the 14 year old singer from Massachusetts who has spent the past year burning up the charts.

While B and J, as they're known to their friends, may have had in mind a Bush-family version of the MTV music awards, a powerful coalition of inaugural planners, pro-family organizations and GOP operatives has dimmed the lights on the girls' big show. One after another, this oh-so-conservative bunch has put the kibosh on the twins' concert choices, replacing them with family-friendly fare.

Twins say '$#@%*' to Family-Friendly Fare
B's favorite rapper, Lil Jon, who recently released Crunk Juice, the follow up album to the multi-platinum Kings of Crunk, was axed from the list almost immediately. Metal rapper Kid Rock, not a favorite of either twin, but one of the few Republican singers event planners could identify, was cut from the program earlier this week.

"B and J wanted this to be a really hot show and now they're like what's the point?" says a source close to the twins. "They could have had some of the dopest rappers out there. Now they're stuck with a lame singer like Hilary Duff. They like don't even want to go anymore," says the friend.

No love from Lizzle Chizzle
In order to gain approval for their choices, the girls had to submit lyrics of potential performers to Lynne Cheney, wife of Vice President Dick Cheney. While Mrs. Cheney was unfamiliar with 'crunk,' a term for a style of hip hop that combines the words "crazy" and "drunk," she reportedly had strong objections to Lil Jon's song, "Can't Stop Pimpin," the lyrics of which include the following:

        Look I told you I hang with niggaz that pimp hoes
        Shakin every trap and collectin from strip shows
        I'm a fat playa with a mouth full of gold
        I be smokin plenty dro
        But I don't put none up my nose

Instead, Mrs. Cheney recommended that Kid Rock, a rock-rapper who was vocal in his support for the president during the recent campaign, replace Lil Jon. But the Second Lady was apparently blind-sided by pro-family organizations, including Campaign for Children and Families (CCF), which complained that Kid's selection was an insult to traditional values voters.

Pimpin Barbara Bush
Among the Kid Rock songs that these conservative culture watchers objected to--"Wax the Booty" and "Pimp of the Nation," a song on Kid's 1990 debut album in which he raps eloquently about how someday he'll be president of the United States:

        Pimp of the Nation, I could be it
        As a matter of a fact, I foresee it
        But only pimpin' hoes with the big tush
        While you be left pimpin Barbara Bush

"I just read Kid Rock's sexually explicit lyrics and feel ashamed and dirty for even looking at his songs," says Randy Thomasson, president of CCF. He notes that when "Pimp of the Nation," was written, Barbara Bush was only 9 years old, making her "pimpin" even more inexcusable.

Family groups say JoJo's Next
Reportedly emboldened by their successful campaign against the metal rapper and Bush fan, conservative groups are said to be planning to continue their assault on the twin's star-studded line-up. Next up: JoJo, a pint-sized singer who recently teamed up with rapper Bow Wow for the duet "Baby It's You."

"We haven't heard anything official yet but apparently there is some concern out there about the video for the song projecting a message of mixed-race acceptance," says a spokesperson for the singer.

Where ya been, Billy Ray?
With the concert just days away, organizers have been scrambling to find replacement performers to step in for Lil Jon, Kid Rock, and JoJo. So far, they've lined up Billy Ray Cyrus, the genius behind the 1982 chart monster "Achy Breaky Heart." Also newly added to the bill: Mac Holcomb, the "Singing Sheriff" of Marshall County, Alabama.

Organizers are also reportedly in conversations with singer Britney Federline, a Bush supporter with a huge following among young values voters.

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Comments

[CHOLIKA]

i THINK THAT BUSH TWINS ARE CHEAP WHORES!!, THEY DESERVE TO BE TREATED AS CHEAP WHORES, THEY ARE PUTAS, CRAZY PUTAS GRINGAS LOCAS, THAT OPEN THEY LEGS AND SHOW THEY PUSSYES FOR FREE TO ALL OF YOU CRAZY CHRISTIAN PROTESTANT, STO PPUTTING YOUR SHIT ON ALL THE AMERICAN CONTINENT.

[willbo]

Bushes daughters follow in his foot steps. If only the Kerry camp would have searched for bushes dna on the other side of the tracks in Mobile, Ala., you know the side with the negroes, pimps and PROSTITUTES, they would have been amazed at what they would have found. I told Kerry to look there, but he was afraid that Bush would look across the tracks in Boston, Mass. and discover some of his dna too. I wouldn't be suprised to find a few Houston, Tx. saggy pants homeies with serious dredlocks be able to describe the Bush girls bodies in vivid detail.

[deadlybunrab]

Alas- if only Kate Smith was still with us on this earthly plane!

[Don]

Mrs Cheney was an appropriate choice for reviewing song lyrics for "naughty" words since, married to the Vice President she clearly hears a lot of them.

[bigfoot]

It is very important that dances that include the dancers following the orders of a central authority be featured in the ascension of our president. Square and line dancing are the clearest demonstration of the peasant classes in their charming folk costumes following orders and doing as they are told. This should reinforce their subservience and ensure that they don't get "uppity" or "put on airs" or demand anything from their betters. Then they can go back to picking cotton and peas and raising the children of their betters, the truly God blessed people of means who make this great country what it is.

[jeff]

who cares what musical acts entertain these people, most of whom can't dance a step? for christ's sake, they're stealing our country from beneath us. please get angry about something that matters....

[Gods child]

I would like to see John Hagee and the Kingsman trio and people with some real talent. God given by the Lord

Thanks

Dont crush under the pressure President. Get back to the old stuff and America may turn from there wicked ways and repent