March 24, 2006
Christian 'Conception' Parties Raise Ire, Eyebrows
Thousands of Christian couples plan to celebrate the occasion of their savior's creation by attending 'conception parties' this weekend, intimate gatherings where the conception of the world's most famous baby is lovingly reenacted. Fans of the pro-life parties say that theirs is a way of livening up the culture of life. But some Christians say that they're uncomfortable celebrating the pregnancy of a teenage girl, even if the father was a heavenly one.
Let's party like it's 4 BC
By Cole Walters
FORT WORTH, TX—While the vast majority of Christians in the US will spend this weekend marking a tragedy—the crucifixion of Jesus Christ upon the cross on Easter Sunday—a small but determined minority plans to celebrate their savior with a bang. Against a backdrop of farmland, city streets, even mountain vistas, this merry band will spend tonight marking not Christ's death, but his conception.
They're called 'conception parties,' intimate gatherings where creation of the world's most famous baby is lovingly—and literally—recreated. And for a few lucky couples, the event will pay off in a big way. Since the biblical bashes burst onto the scene just five years ago, 13 couples have gotten pregnant as a result of attending the gatherings. Two of the lucky mothers went on to have children—both girls—who share Christ's December birthday.
A celebration of life
"It's just a lot of fun," says Fort Worth resident and party host Earl Silos. "We'll bake a ham, put out bowls of macaroni salad and potato salad. People can relax a little, take a load off." He says that he's expecting 25 married couples to attend tonight's festivities. Marriage is a condition of attendance, says Silos, who advertised the event at his church, on local Christian message boards and on telephone poles in his neighborhood.
Silos says that he got the idea from his brother-in-law, who has hosted a conception party in Pascagoula, MS, since 1999. Today, notes Silos, his brother-in-law's annual March 25th bash attracts upwards of 100 people, including many town notables. "He does it up with a deep-fried turkey, the whole she-bang. We're a little less fancy around here," notes Silos. "We keep most of the attention on the main event."
But not everyone is enamored of the idea of celebrating Christ's conception—especially in the form of physical reenactments that even participants admit can get out of hand. Some Christians say that they're reluctant to shine a spotlight on the event's surrounding Mary's pregnancy. Christ's mother was only a teenager, after all, and according to Matthew, a friend of the couple, was not actually married to Joseph. "When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost," Matthew wrote in a tell-all account.
If Matthew's version is correct, Mary's actions would contradict the teachings of many abstinence-only education programs, which encourage women to remain pure virgins until their wedding nights.
A down hill slide?
For critics, the new popularity of conception parties is a disturbing reminder of their faith's pagan past. Among social conservatives there is also mounting concern that their iron grip on cultural discipline is already beginning to loosen. This past year, Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, a practicing Mormon and a likely republican presidential candidate in 2008, raised eyebrows with his statement that "marriage should be between a man and a woman…and a woman, and a woman."
But for thousands of Christians who plan to don party dresses and suit jackets, tonight's parties represent nothing more than a chance to celebrate one of history's most magical moments. "Obviously none of us is going to be lucky enough to get pregnant by Him," says Earl Silos' wife Carol. "So this is the next best thing. We're celebrating what turned out to be the biggest night of Mary's life."
Have you ever attended a conception party? Tell your story to firstname.lastname@example.org
March 24, 2006 | Permalink
Well, it's not an orgy, just a nice gathering whose
participants are anyway absolutely expected to be Aware and
Posted by: YoniAge | Jul 24, 2008 1:53:35 PM
Today is Leona birthday. She was born on July 4th. Independence Day. She is in the dark and alone celebrating her birthday.
Posted by: Melanie Stefine | Jul 4, 2008 1:40:40 PM
God also said that: Richard Dawkins goes to Heaven. Leona Helmsley goes to Hell and Jerry Falwell vanishes.
Posted by: Melanie Stefine | Jul 4, 2008 1:38:35 PM
In the Summer of 2007, God had this to say:
We each die in succession, Then we are born on the same day.
Posted by: Melanie Stefine | Jul 4, 2008 1:36:56 PM
Dear Christian masses,
the bible is a book. God is a spiritual being. The bible is *not* the spiritual reality of God or Heaven anymore than the word "water" is itself wet. Grow the f**k up and yes, a sense of humour would help. God obviously has one - Televangelism ? Har har what morons.
Posted by: Gorgonzola_Happiness | Dec 29, 2007 6:43:19 PM
These right wing sparrow-brain bloggers are frightening. It's as though they are all sons of Bush. How could anyone be dumb enough to read the Swift Report and take it so seriously? And... if they find it offensive, why not just click away to some nice Fox News site where they get to hear/read only what they want to hear/read. Sheesh... they really need to relax and get a life... or at maybe just get laid.
Posted by: Ned | Jun 8, 2006 2:00:36 PM
The comments are filled with either:
a) witheringly witty sacrastic posts emulating the worst possible responses of rabid cross-as-dildo wankers, or
b) witheringly serious posts by rabid cross-as-dildo wankers who are two peanuts shy of a pantload...
oh wait, I didn't come up with any oral-fixation similies, DAMNIT!
Posted by: doofusgumby | Apr 24, 2006 9:24:06 PM
And 'lo there will come a day when the texts held high from the age of bronze will be cast down, lose their meaning and shall no longer be holy but wholly useless to the age that comes. The fables of old will be cast off at long last and reason will dawn where ignorance lay so long. A new age of humanity will come and the dogma of the past will fail. That day is not today. Today they cloak themselves in ages of darkness and call it light.
Posted by: Michael | Apr 5, 2006 10:23:25 AM
Those of you who missed that this entire site is a parody (read the headline - duh) should not feel too bad. Mike Malloy read this story on the air as if it were the real thing.
Posted by: Clueless | Apr 3, 2006 8:57:30 AM
I think the "Christians" need to get over themselves. You're really not "all that". Has anyone met a Christian with a sense of humor? I think they are from another planet. Real Christians don't have to proclaim their Christianity. They KNOW what Christ was talking about because they FEEL it. They're not manipulated by a bunch of wealthy puppetmasters i.e. Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson. What these people really need is a born again BRAIN.
Posted by: Dennis | Apr 1, 2006 12:32:16 AM
This is nuts. First of all the article intimates that these parties involve explicit sexual acts but there is no direct laguage to that point. I'm no fan of the Christian right but I do believe we are all equally entitled to practice our faith and choose our beliefs freely as long as doing so does not impose on or opress others or in anyway restrict their basic rights and liberities. Making such insinuations is as disgusting to me as is the Christian rights political manuverings or Bush's lies about going to war. This kind of crap is no better than the lies and distortions propogated by Fox news and their ilk. It serves no greater purpose and no benefit to the cause of truth is achieved by this kind of distortion.
Yeah its funny but unless that is what your are all about, which this site is not, re Jon Stewart then its just misleading, hateful and destructive.
Posted by: Steve | Mar 31, 2006 10:16:46 PM
YOU FOOLS!!!! MARY, MOTHER OF GOD, HAD AN IMMACULATE CONCEPTION! SHE WAS NOT EVER PREGNANT!!!! SHE DID NOT DO AWFUL THINGS LIKE THAT, AND ANYONE WHO SAYS SHE DID IS A LIAR!!!! SHAME! HOW CAN YOU POST SUCH GARBAGE!!!!!
OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST IS GOD, AND DID NOT RESULT FROM SUCH A SHAMEFUL ANIMAL MATING AS YOU BELIEVE!!!!!!
Posted by: Kaboom | Mar 26, 2006 5:16:52 AM
The writer of the article lost all credibility when he wrote that people mourn the crucifixion on Easter Sunday when in fact the crucifixion is honored on Good Friday - people celebrate Jesus rising from the dead on Easter Sunday. Idiot.
Posted by: Bill | Mar 28, 2005 8:42:49 AM
THIS SITE IS GREAT!!Just as good as Landover Baptist Christian Parody Site. OR www.Bettybowers.com
This is FN Hilarious!!!!!!
Christian Orgy's??? Sounds like the Catholic Church
Posted by: JUST-A-THOUGHT | Mar 28, 2005 2:35:06 AM
What absolute nonsense. Also, what ab solute nonsense typed in using all capitals.
Posted by: paul | Mar 27, 2005 6:05:26 PM
If nothing else, no one knows the date of Jesus's birth, and therefore certainly not the date of his conception. December 25 was chosen as the date to celebrate his birth simply because that was the time of pagan celebrations of winter solstice, so it was convenient to slip in a Christian observance in order to help convert people without making them throw out all their old customs.
This whol orgy business just makes lot of the sacredness of Jesus, even for those who may not believe the Christian myth.
Posted by: windy | Mar 27, 2005 1:11:59 PM
A conception party? Or an orgy, albeit one where sex partners are not shared.
How can one re enact an unrepeatable event? Mary was not impregnated by sexual means. Indeed medieval art has a point when they portray her impregnation as resulting trough the ear by means of having heard the word of God.
So let christians imitate Mary not by saving sex parties, but by hearing the Word of God and believing it
This being so, all that remains of their ideal is an orgy.
Only in America could such sloppiness of thought be advocated
But the comment in the article above "If Matthew's account is correct. . " is pure ignorance. Mary's action in hearing the word of God to her, which was to simply beleve what He told her, did not contradict her virginity.
Why is it that error and sloppy thinking on one hand (the whole conception party business) is countered by error and sloppy thinking on the other hand?
I will conlude with noting that why do they think that self righteous oaths to remain physically virgin actually constitute purity? All we have here is sinful self indulgence being opposed by sinful self righteousness. Do they not know the Law of God which declares our stern religious efforts to be worthless hypocrisy?
Posted by: Steve Meikle | Mar 27, 2005 12:44:02 PM
PREACH THE WORD;BE INSTANT IN SEASON
OUT OF SEASON; REPROVE,REBUKE,EXORT,WITH
ALL LONGSUFFERING AND DOCTORINE
FOR THE TIME WIL COME WHEN THEY
WILL NOT ENDURE SOUND DOCTURNE: BUT AFTER
THEIR OWN LUSTS SHALL THEY HEAP ,TO THEMSELVE
TEACHERS, HAVING ITCHING EARS;
AND THEY SHALL TURN AWAY THEIR EARS
FROM THE TRUTH,AND SHALL BE TURNED UNTO FABLES
BUT WATCH THOU IN ALL THINGS , ENDURE
AFFLITIONS,DO THE WORK OF AN EVANGELIST,MAKE
FULL PROOF OF THE MINISTRY. AMEN GO BACK
TO THE BIBLE , AND PREACH , JESUS CHRIST
CRUCIFIED AND RISEN SITTING AT THE RIGHT HAND
OF GOD INTERCEDING FOR US. JESUS IN HIS WORD TOLD US TO REMEMBER HIS DEATH AND NOT HISCONCEPTION , LET ALONE HAVING A PARTY . " TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS LOOK FULL IN HIS WONDERFUL FACE ,AND THE THINGS OF LIFE WILL GROW STRANGELY DIM IN TH LIGHT OF HIS GLORY AND GRACE". ANNA
Posted by: ANNA | Mar 26, 2005 11:06:52 AM
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