Florida Governor Jeb Bush has asked a state prosecutor to investigate possible links between Hurricane Dennis and Michael Schiavo. Governor Bush said that he connected Mr. Schiavo with the category 3 storm after realizing that Dennis spelled backwards is actually 'sinned.'
Dennis spelled backwards equals 'sinned'
By Deanna Swift
TALLAHASSEE, FL—Just hours after Hurricane Dennis made landfall across the Florida Panhandle yesterday, Governor Jeb Bush asked a state prosecutor to investigate possible links between the category 3 storm and Michael Schiavo. In a statement to reporters, Mr. Bush noted that the issue of Mr. Schiavo's involvement in the strongest hurricane to develop this early in the Atlantic storm season "remains unsettled."
• Devil Endorses Hillary Clinton's 08 Presidential Bid
A hot topic—ignored by the mainstream media
Mr. Schiavo's likely involvement in the hurricane, which took aim at Haiti and Cuba before lashing the Panhandle, has been a hot topic on conservative talk radio since Dennis was just a tropical storm. But despite the buzz on websites and AM radio, the so-called mainstream media all but ignored the story, attributing Dennis' mounting ferocity over the weekend not to the work of Michael Schiavo, but to the unusually warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico.
"Typical MSM bull$%#@," wrote one visitor to Free Republic, a popular conservative website. "Blame it all on global warming when this has Schiavo's fingerprints all over it."
Conspiracy 'up to the heavens'
Indeed, some observers now maintain that the refusal of state, local and even federal officials to lay blame for the ferocious storm at the feet of Mr. Schiavo may be part of a conspiracy that reaches up to the very highest levels of government. Case in point: when the National Hurricane Center issued a statement that Hurricane Dennis had finally made landfall on the northern Gulf of Mexico coastline, the emergency announcement did not contain a single mention of Michael Schiavo's name.
Not everyone in the sunshine state believes that Michael Schiavo bears direct responsibility for the fury of blinding squalls, crashing waves, and flying debris that rammed into the Florida and Alabama coasts. At least a handful of residents take a more forgiving view, maintaining that Hurricane Dennis was actually the meteorological wrath of Pope John Paul II and Terri Schiavo herself, coming back to avenge the 'culture of death' brought on Florida by none other than Michael Schiavo.
A storm of protest
By Sunday afternoon, Dennis had been downgraded to a category two on the Saffir-Simpson-Schiavo rating scale. But at least one group of activists wasn't taking any chances. With waves still battering the gulf coast, they made their way to the home of Michael Schiavo in Clearwater, FL, for a vigil. Their goal: to pressure Florida lawmakers to pass a law barring Mr. Schiavo from creating any additional hurricanes.
For Bush, a wave of support
Despite statements to the contrary, Governor Bush is widely believed to be considering a 2008 run for the office currently held by his brother, George W. Bush. A high-profile investigation linking Michael Schiavo to the most recent storm to batter Florida would likely shore up Governor Bush's support among so-called values voters, many of whom not only blame Mr. Schiavo for Hurricane Dennis, but for rising gas prices and a rash of recent shark attacks.
Should Congress intervene to prevent Michael Schiavo from inflicting yet more damage to the sugar white sands of Pensacola, FL? Talk back to Deanna Swift.