Fed up with the constant America bashing from the shamelessly liberal media and left-wing politicians, a group of fearless conservative media personalities—including the Swift Report’s own Deanna Swift—has traveled to Iraq to spend the week inside Baghdad’s exclusive Green Zone. In her latest report, Deanna dishes about life in the desert and discovers that covering a war isn’t too taxing—when your side has already won.
Our intrepid correspondent cools off in the shade and enjoys a Fallujah Fizz (recipe included!)
By Deanna Swift
CAMP VICTORY—Dear readers: so much to report! It seems like only yesterday that yours truly joined a band of fearless truth seekers for the adventure of a life time: a trip to Iraq in search of the good news that the so-called mainstream media goes to such lengths to avoid.
It’s over—and we won
And boy have we found plenty of it here inside Baghdad’s exclusive Green Zone! While you all back at home are being fed nothing but negativity, we arrived here earlier this week to discover that the war is already over, and guess what? We won! My handsome colleague Buzz Patterson said it best: “The war is being won, if not already won, I think.”
Don’t go looking for trouble
So while our pinko ‘colleagues’ spend their days practically looking for bad news to send home, we’ve been able to live it up and celebrate our victory in style: with a tall Fallujah Fizz (I’ve included a recipe so that you can try this one at home!) and an old-fashioned Green Zone pool party. But enough about what we’ve been up to, you want to know how I’m doing. Thanks to all of my readers and their great questions—keep ‘em coming!
What is life like outside of the Green Zone? Have you met up with any of those America-hating journalists?
Luckily there is so much good news to report right here that we haven’t needed to leave the Green Zone at all. But seriously, thanks for asking. And if any of those so-called journalists you refer to would get up off of their hotel bar stools and come in here, maybe they’d be a little more positive!
I see from the weather forecast that it’s hot and dry over there. How are you keeping your hair styled and your skin moist and supple?
Thanks so much for your excellent question! You’re right: it’s hotter here than the hairdryer I packed for the trip. And with zero humidity, forget about holding a curl. Luckily, in between good news gathering, the other girls and I have had plenty of time to exchange beauty tips. One tip learned the hard way: stilettos and sand don’t match!
What have you most enjoyed about your trip to Baghdad?
Dear Repeal: Well, there was that moonlight skinny dipping session with Buzz (I won’t tell if you won’t!), but you’re probably looking for something that will make it past the pro-family filter. Tops on my list would be hanging out with the gang—everyone is so positive—enjoying the beautiful sunsets and sipping a Fallujah Fizz, a fantastically refreshing combo of gin, egg white, lime and cream. Try one yourself!
Next up: Day-tripping Deanna visits Fallujah
Have questions about life in the Green Zone? Send them to firstname.lastname@example.org