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May 06, 2005

No 'Filibustering' on the Dance Floor: High Schools Fight Latest Dirty Dance Craze

Fili_thumbFirst there was bumping, then grinding, then freak dancing. But these dirty dances have nothing on the latest XXX-rated dance-floor craze: filibustering. Officials at US high schools say that they suspect that the lewd maneuvers probably originated in densely populated urban areas and have since popped up in suburbs and even small towns. The good news: a small army of dance chaperones has been trained to spot dance-floor offenders, before they have a chance to cop a 'fil.'

A twenty-five cent word makes the trip from Senate-speak to XXX teen talk

By Cole Walters

SchoolCAHOKIA, IL—When Shirley Hathaway reports to work as one of 14 official chaperones at the Cahokia High School senior prom later this month, she'll have a long list of forbidden dance-floor moves for which to be on the look out. Mrs. Hathaway will be casting a keen eye on girls in filmy strapless numbers and guys in tuxes, prepared to intervene at the first sign of dirty dancing: spanking, humping, ankle grabbing, grinding and simulated sex acts.

This year though, Mrs. Hathaway and her team face a new dance-floor threat. Known as 'the filibuster,' its moves and gestures are as explicit as any that have ever been seen at American proms, sock hops and mixers. "We got word from the superintendent's office that this is the new thing this year," says the high school home economics teachers. "While we haven't actually seen any of the kids doing it yet, we've seen some pictures that would set your hair on fire."

One 'fil' and you're out

ChapLike many high schools, Cahokia High has taken an increasingly strict approach to the dance floor antics of its students. The school banned 'freak dancing' in 2001 after popular conservative talk show host Bill O'Reilly began warning of its dangers. "Kids from coast to coast are grinding and simulating sexual acts on the dance floor. They are mimicking Kama-Sutra positions to the beat of rap and techno music. They are touching each other in ways that would frighten Pamela Anderson," noted the top-selling author.

But dance-floor observers say that the 'filibuster' tops even freak dancing in its lasciviousness. In anticipation of the new move, which can be performed by dancers of the same or opposite sexes to virtually any sort of music, the Cahokia chaperones have implemented an even tougher dance-floor policy: one 'fil' and you're out. In the past, offenders who were caught grabbing the ankles of or simulating sex acts with their dance partners were given a cool-off period, says principal Duane Scott. They are only allowed to return to the dance floor if they sign a pledge stating that they won't engage in the offensive conduct again. "But this new thing is so outrageous that we changed the rule. One 'fil' and you're out."

Feel-a-buster
DanceNo one knows precisely where the new XXX-rated moves came from, but like most damaging influences they are believed to have emerged from the country's densely populated urban areas, and are now infiltrating small town USA. And while the dirty dance takes its name from the obstruction of judicial nominees with strongly held personal beliefs by US Senators, it's not that innocent warns history of dance expert Charles Teten-Ford.

The name of the dance, explains Mr. Teten-Ford, has its origins in the expression 'feel a buster,' a popular 19th century term for the practice of forcing New England residents who were short of rent to dance or 'bust' until the landlord 'felt' that the debt had been paid. "But the dance was quite innocent in those days. Obviously the current obscene connotation has come quite recently to 'filibuster.'"

No filibustering on the dance floor

Mrs. Hathaway and her team of chaperones have been boning up on pictures of the ultra-dirty dance and say that they're prepared to move in at the first sign that one student is 'filling' another's 'buster.' "Our policy this year is zero tolerance for filibustering," says chaperone and assistant baseball coach Marshall Vaughn.

As for dancers who may try to slip in another dirty move or two, he says 'don't even think about it.' "We'll be watching out for the other banned dances too, so don't think that you can get away with humping, bumping, grinding or freaking either."

Do you think that students caught filibustering at high school dances should be expelled? Send your opinion to colewalters1@yahoo.com

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Comments

Oh my God is that funny.

Posted by: Tom | May 9, 2005 12:25 PM

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