Texas Seeks to Ban Nude Cheerleading

A Texas representative has filed legislation that would ban nude and other sexually suggestive cheerleading in the Panhandle State. Political observers say that the move to block cheering teens from wild gyrations comes as an effort to further bolster the state's ambitious abstinence-only education program. But critics maintain that the bill is a transparent attempt to divert attention from the recent nude cheerleading scandal that continues to rock this state.

Texas legislators to conduct probe into 'too' sexy cheerleaders

By Cole Walters

AUSTIN, TX—A Texas representative has filed legislation that would force high school cheerleaders to tone down their acts, prohibiting them from shaking their pert breasts and cute little rears—or pay a price. The bill, filed by Representative Al Edwards, would reduce education funds to school districts that knowingly stage suggestive cheerleading performances.

The Texas legislature is said to be considering a probe into the matter of overly sexy game-time performances, including an up-close look at some of the moves that are most offensive.

S-E-X-Y, We don't got no alibi, we're sexy!
Representative Edwards, a 26-year veteran of the statehouse, said that he introduced the legislation out of concern that the sight of such sexy cheerleading might constitute a setback to the state's ambitious program of abstinence-only education.

"It's just too sexually oriented, you know, the way they're shaking their behinds and going on, breaking it down," Mr. Edwards told the Associated Press. "And then we say to them, 'don't get involved in sex unless it's marriage or love, it's dangerous out there' and yet the teachers and directors are helping them go through those kind of gyrations."

Wait before you mate
Texas spends millions of dollars each year to convince teens to "wait before they mate," and recently pressured textbook makers to eliminate information on contraception in favor of sections on abstinence and traditional marriage. Panhandle lawmakers and educators are now said to be considering supplementing those text books with information on a controversial form of pregnancy known as 'virgin birth.'

No nude cheerleaders need apply
But critics of Mr. Edward's legislative effort say that his move to ban naughty antics on the playing field has less to do with abstinence than with a recent nude cheerleading scandal that continues to rock this state. In January, twelve members of the North Hill High School cheerleading squad were suspended and barred from attending the senior prom after they removed their skirts, monogrammed sweaters and undergarments known as "spankies," and created a nude human pyramid during the half-time performance of a football game between the North Hill Crusaders and the Midland High School Rebels. The display outraged some witnesses in the stands including one witness who likened the performance to 'torture.'

The buck naked stops here
The girls defended their actions by saying that they were simply recreating the nude human pyramids that were first popularized by the U.S. military. Their lawyer, Guy Womack, defended their actions by arguing that cheerleaders "all over America form pyramids 6 to 8 times a year."

While the incident spurred multiple investigations into whether the girls received orders to engage in nude pyramid building from higher ups at North Hill High, the school district, or even the statehouse, only the twelve cheerleaders have been cited in an official way thus way. Lori Leydon, the captain of the North Hill squad, faced the strongest sanctions of the group as she appeared to be the ringleader.

Girls gone wild
In recent years, high school cheerleading has gone from an all-American past-time to the dirty province of porn queens. Late last year, members of the Danvers, MA, cheerleading squad were featured in a homemade lesbian porno movie in which one nearly nude member of the cheer squad was seen kissing the breasts of another. The girls have since been removed from the squad.

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