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April 20, 2005

New Poll: Americans Warming to Theocracy

Command_thumbA new poll reveals that Americans are steadily warming to the idea of replacing the nation's highly-touted democracy with a theocracy, in which a handful of religious leaders make decisions for all citizens based on divine guidance.

46% want to replace Electoral College with 'Electoral Conclave'

By Deanna Swift

WASHINGTON, DC—A poll released this week reveals that Americans are steadily warming to the idea of replacing the nation's once highly-touted democracy with a theocracy, a form of governance in which a handful of religious leaders lead on the basis of divine guidance.

The release of the poll's findings follows weeks of round-the-clock religious programming on cable news channels, comes on the heels of the selection of a new Pope, and indicates that Americans may finally be tiring of the separation between church and state.

Do you believe?
The poll, based on 2,130 telephone interviews conducted between Friday and Tuesday, found that 62% of Americans now believe that God intended for the United States to be a theocracy, while 23% said that they had no opinion on the matter or were unable to answer polling questions because they were currently attending a Christian church service or were watching such a service on television. A further 14% said they either belonged to or had given money to the ACLU at least once in their lifetime.

...46% would like to see the Electoral College replaced by
an Electoral Conclave...

Conclave this
When asked about their preferred method for selecting the next president, 46% indicated that they would like to see the Electoral College replaced by an Electoral Conclave, in which representatives signal the acceptance of a candidate with special smoke signals. 22% of respondents said that they believe that God should continue to select the best candidate for president of the United States as He has in the past two elections. Thirty two percent answered that they would prefer to continue the tried and true method of voting for the president, even though they don't believe that all of those votes are counted.

10commandmentsWe are all Judeo-Christians
Participants were also asked to identify some of the advantages of being governed by a theocracy. Pollsters presented each respondent with a list of 10 different benefits of divinely-guided government and asked them to rank each on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being their least favorite, 10 being their very favorite. Items on the list included the cancellation of Will and Grace, private Social Security accounts, an end to judicial activism, the repeal of the estate tax and the prominent display of Judge Roy Moore's Ten Commandment's statue.

The cancellation of Will and Grace was overwhelmingly chosen as the top benefit of living under a theocracy; 72% of respondents ranked this with a grade of '7' or above. Private Social Security accounts and the display of Judge Moore's monument were the least popular, with 87% of respondents giving them a grade of '3' or below.

God's news channel
Abraham_1Finally, pollsters collected data on television news shows watched by respondents and compared those with their attitudes on torture. Viewers of the Fox News Channel had the most favorable view of a theocracy; 82% said that they believe that top GOP officials including President George W. Bush and House Majority Leader Tom DeLay are instruments of God, and that they hope to see more of His instruments in office soon.

Viewers of the debate show Hannity and Colmes view theocracy slightly more favorable than do viewers of the O'Reilly Factor: 92% of the respondents who identified as Hannity fans said they were "pro-theocracy," while 87% who said they spent time in the No Spin Zone gave a theocratic government a 'thumbs up.'

How this poll was conducted
Samples for Polltronics polls are random digit samples of telephone numbers selected using the "probability proportionate to size" method, which means numbers from across the country are selected in proportion to the number of voters in each state. Individuals who did not answer their phones were assumed to be attending a Christian church service or watching such a service on TV.

In order to ensure a distribution of ages and genders within households, the interviewer selects the respondent by asking to speak to the adult with the next birthday. Quotas are applied to ensure the sample mirrors the proportions of voters nationally. Specifically, the aim is for a gender split nationwide of 53% female / 47% male, as well as regional quotas.

The RDD selected phone numbers are sent to the interviewers through computer-assisted telephone interviewing (CATI) software. Both the software and human supervisors monitor each step of the interviewing process. While calls are automatically dialed, the system does not use predictive dialing so prospective respondents always find a live interviewer when they answer their phone.

Deanna Swift can be reached at deannaswift1@yahoo.com

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