With Oscar’s big night just days away, it’s time to place our bets on who’ll be golden this year. But as the horse race heats up, an obvious question rears its head: in this year of valuing values, what films and celebs will values voters find most offensive?
Take the Swift Report Oscar™ Quiz to find out which of this year’s nominees is the most morally outrageous
By Todd Fox and Deanna Swift
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Oscar™ has made his preliminary picks, and if the list is any indication, there’s a good reason why they call California the Left Coast. Swift Report fave “The Passion of the Christ” (not to be confused with another award winner, “The Passion of Chris”) merited barely a mention.
Instead, the contenders for that golden statuette we all love to love are replete with themes and issues seemingly guaranteed to offend any self-respecting values voter turned moviegoer. No wonder Americans have been staying home from the cinema in droves.
As we prepare for the big night—betting on who’ll be golden this year, mixing up a big batch of our favorite Oscar™-tinis, and making sure that the stars and starlets on the red carpet are clad in appropriately modest garb, an obvious question rears its head: in this year of valuing values, what films and celebs will values voters find most offensive? Let the Swift Report be your guide to all matters anti-family on this special night.
Take our official Swift Report Oscar™ quiz to help you determine which of this year’s nominees is most deserving of your moral ire.