IRS Unveils New Form to Ease "Nanny Problem"

After President Bush's nominee to head the Department of Homeland Security was forced to withdraw his name due to a "nanny problem," the IRS sprang into action, unveiling a new tax form that will make it easier for wealthy Americans to pay taxes on the illegal housekeepers, gardeners, and nannies they employ.

Acknowledging that illegals are as essential to suburban living today as SUVs and Cuisinarts

By Deanna Swift

WASHINGTON, DC—Just days after the Bush administration's nominee for Homeland Security secretary withdrew his name after recalling that he'd hired an illegal alien as a nanny, the IRS has introduced a new form to prevent such complications in the future. The new tax document, Form 1040 HA (click to download PDF), will make it easier for the wealthy to pay employment taxes on behalf of the legions of undocumented workers who tend their lawns, take their of children, and keep their pools free of leaves and other material.

At an unveiling ceremony this morning, IRS spokesperson Donald Cheezum said that the new form simply reflects a fact of life for millions of wealthy Americans. "Let's face it, most of the rich and powerful have a 'nanny problem' or a 'lawn boy problem.'" By making it easier for them to pay taxes on illegal workers, said Cheezum, the Bernard Keriks of the world "are much less likely to run into trouble the next time they get nominated for a cabinet post."

In recent years, "nanny problems" have ended the cabinet dreams of several nominees including Linda Chavez, nominated by President Bush to run the Department of Labor, the government office in charge of enforcing labor standards. Chavez was forced to withdraw her name from the running after she revealed that an undocumented worker had been living in her home and doing household chores including vacuuming, dusting, and caring for Chavez' two Pomeranians. Bill Clinton's first pick for attorney general, Zoe Baird, was also forced to withdraw after admitting she employed two undocumented workers and did not pay employee taxes for them as the law required.

Bernard Kerik, who withdrew his name on Saturday, still hasn't said where his nanny was from, or how long she was in his employ. The nanny reportedly left the country two weeks ago.

Form 1040HA will be available to taxpayers for the 2004 tax year. The IRS is sending extra copies of the form to wealthy suburbs including Bloomfield Hills, MI, and Chevy Chase, MD.

Deanna Swift can be reached at deannaswift1@yahoo.com

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